Do not go gentle
by squarecreatures
Summary: Stefan brings Elena home after the dance and they talk, can they work things out? How will Stefan react to Elena's new realization?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N : Please let me know what you think of this, I love the idea... and i don't know if it is fully complete yet :)**

Stefan turned the key to the Gilbert house, something he was accustomed to from the time he spent with her. It was the little things he remembered that comforted her now, as she replayed everything he had said to her that night "Just some girl I used to date" they both laughed timidly to shake off the pain the reality the words had meant, but underneath the surface there was a truth to it and it shook both of them to their cores. They had never gotten closure and now those words were up in the air and doing nothing to help solve where they were at in this stage in their relationship.

She stepped in and smiled weakly at the gesture, thankful that he had come in and not just left her at the door. She was still upset and he knew it, her tear stained face that was once so perfectly decorated for the dance earlier on that evening was now filled with pain and sorrow. He hated it all, he hated where they were and how their lives had now spun so unbelievably out of control, but somehow being around her made it all worthwhile, even if he just had tonight with her, it would keep him warm forever.

She sat at the counter messing with the clips in her hair, removing them one by one letting her hair fall to her shoulders, trying to steady her breathing, _deep breaths_ she recited to herself. She had cried herself out and was physically and emotionally drained. Stefan began to make tea, again, like he always did, he never had to ask, he just knew she needed it. Just as he remembered everything else about her, and how caring he was when they were together. He always knew the right things to say, like tonight. He always knew the right things to do, like now. And the way he looked at her tonight, was something that reminded her of a time when she knew he was hers and only hers.

She let out a soft sad laugh, with a tinge of pain shifting her facial features, "bad dance karma" she bit her tongue meeting his eyes, pausing for a long moment to drift away in his dusty green eyes, like they had done so numerous occasions that evening. He pressed his lips together, looking down, ashamed of himself for letting his emotions convince him he still had a chance to make things right. It wasn't, none of this was right, tonight shouldn't be right, but it was, whenever he was around her, everything was perfect.

He walked over and placed the steaming cup in front of her, "Elena, I wish I could make this all go away" he met her eyes again, watching as a tear rolled down her face, her eyes glazed now as she wondered how he had returned to her, _her Stefan_.

"Tell me how to make it better" he reached for her hand and she looked down. His soft palm landing so naturally on hers and electrifying her body, melting between her fingers like it was made for only her hands alone. His touch was hers alone.

"when...when did you come back Stefan?" barely a whisper now as she struggled to find the words to describe her sudden realisation.

"What?...you know when I came back" he said confused.

"No Stefan...you!" she looked back into his eyes again, plunging her soul into his and leaving no room for him to deny her, like he did before, leaving him no other option but to obey at her every request.

He stood, his brow furrowed, not knowing how to reply. Looking down at his hand and not remembering how he had placed it there, he had done it without thinking, and wondered for a second if that was a mistake, but couldn't bring himself to believe that it was.

"Its like, your only back now...all of you" she slipped her hand away, the tears now rolling down her face, her breathing hitched from every thought rushing through her.

She walked around the counter hurriedly looking for a tissue to dry her face, as the tears ran freely down near her mouth and down her chin.

There was silence for a few moments, Elena had her back to him, she stared out the window, looking at her reflection in the glass, noticing how her hair was now down, her eye make up almost completely removed from the tears, her lips quivering, not knowing how much more she could take, how much more pain she could bare alone. She noted the corsage Stefan had given her earlier that night was still intact, it screamed Stefan to her, and she realised she hadn't expected anything less from him when she decided to invite him to the dance. She knew deep down that it would be fine, because he was still there, because no matter what they went through good or bad, he was still able to love her, love her more than anyone else in the world.

Stefan approached behind her, looking at her shattered face in the glass reflection.

"Elena..." he was speechless, but seeing her way broke him, he didn't want her to feel alone, it hurt him and he ached to sooth her like he was once able to. It was the only way he knew how; he needed to be close to her. He couldn't just stand and play the friendship support figure any longer, it wasn't enough.

Stefan placed his hand on her shoulder, realising as soon as he placed it there that she was cold, freezing, shaking. She turned to him slowly, letting his soft touch radiate her body, her eyes slowly moving to meet his now, their faces inches apart. His hand falling down her arm softly, until it dropped to his side and slumped his shoulders slightly, releasing a breath he didn't know he was containing, painfully releasing it.

It was so silent he could hear her staggered breath, and feel her cool exhale smother his nostrils with her scent. Her eyes fluttered closed, her tears had stopped her lips slightly apart. Stefan circled her wrist with his thumb noticing her shudder at this, she moved closer to him, almost by accident, their lips brushed, barely touching, both unsure if this was planned. She let out a staggered breath into his mouth their lips still grazing and she only moved closer only to find his strong lips encircle hers.

For a moment, there was no world but them, everything that happened that night had slowly sunk into the earth and left their beautiful world in which they only resided. Where only their memories, truths and emotions were to be found, where the clarity about them together wasn't even a question to be fathomed. For a split second they both let it happen, almost like something drew them together. Naturally, like sea and sand, like plants and soil, the earth and the moon, built to exist as one in the universe.

Their lips locked together and caressed slowly, knocking the air out of their lungs from the feeling. Moving to find their tongues and intensify together so naturally even after all this time, her hand moved impatiently to his face and pressed him closer, even when she was still suffocating under his beautiful lips, she couldn't remove herself from him. His hand moved to her waste tracing the pearls and patters of her dress with his finger tips.

Stefan pulled away suddenly, pressing his forehead against hers tenderly leaning against it, fighting the tears as his breathing hitched slightly. Her eyes confused and hurt trying to find his and wondering why once again he had denied her the affection she so longingly needed and wanted from him. He shook his head no, tears flooding his eyes as he struggled to control them meeting hers again, knowing he would flounder in the epiphany that they brought him.

"Not now" he tried under his breath.

"Why" she asked loudly, her face squinting with pain from his words, desperately trying to stop herself from grabbing him again and pulling him back to her where he belonged.

"I'm sorry...I do, I do want this, but..." he widened the space between their bodies, leaving enough room for him to breath, knowing if he kept the proximity between them he would give in to temptation. But that tiny inch in space between them sent a tang of pain through Elena's heart, and she looked away completely broken and vulnerable now.

"Elena, you still need to know what you want, you've been through so much tonight, its not right" Elena shook her head in disbelief and reached for his hand.

"How can you say this is not right?" she pleaded, looking down at his hands now, wishing he hadn't just said those words, how much they hurt her the instant he said them, the truth piercing her with the reality of the situation.

"You...you still need to... make a choice Elena...and if I kiss you again" he sighed his eyes drifting anywhere but to hers, "I won't be able to stop" he whispered.

"Then don't" she said simply, knowing she wouldn't want to stop either, searching his eyes, realising that she could see him again, she could really see the Stefan she had never forgotten. The one she had missed, the one she had tried on so many occasions to revive, the man she loved and ached for was in front of her and she couldn't bare it any longer, being so close but so far apart.

Stefan looked at her hands for a moment, fighting with himself, his rational brain telling him _you bit her, you drove her away_. He thought of her feelings for Damon for a second, but when her fingers stroked his face suddenly and she was looking into his eyes, wishing to god he was still in there, afraid that he would leave again, his heart could not bear it, none of it mattered anymore. Even if she chose Damon after tonight, he would remember this moment with her forever and he would just have to deal with the pain, it was worth it.

He crashed his lips on hers, catching her off guard but she quickly recovered returned his kiss just as eagerly, moving for his hair, pulling at the strands, gripping his shoulders and finding his tie for balance as they fell against the sink. "God I...missed...you" he tried to tell her, his lips never once leaving hers.

"Stefan" their kisses deep and intense, he turned his head to plunge himself further into her mouth, making her writhe from it, his kiss moving to her jaw, and down her neck, and over her ears around the shell of her ear swirling his tongue.

"Elena" he whispered to her, she wrapped her hands around him, as he fit his strong arms encircling her perfectly around his chest. Her tears of happiness rolling down her goofy smile as she stroked his face, "Hi" she giggled, as he smiled back, "I never left" he placed a kiss on her forehead, fixing a strand of her behind her ear,

"id never leave you" she nodded, bursting into tears, pulling her into his arms again and he turned his head into the crook of her neck with his lips pressed firmly on her skin breathing her in, and releasing a content sigh on to her soft skin. "I love you" she whispered.

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**What did you guys think? I really want this to happen, no more Damon, PLEASE!**

**Should I continue with this? If i get more than 10 reviews and a few suggestions I might think about another chapter. Let me know, oh and dont worry next chapter of 'Coming Home' will be uploaded very soon if your wondering. **

**I just get side tracked after each weeks episodes and need to write something new.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thankyou so much for all the reviews you guys, I really do enjoy reading each and every one.**

**As promised, here is the next chapter, I hope I did them justice. **

**As always let me know what you think...I might have one more chapter left in me if this weeks episode has the Stelena ending that im hoping for.**

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A rosy hue colored the room in a dusty red as the morning sun entered through the window pane of Elena's bedroom. Elena stirred reaching for someone on the other side of the bed, finding nothing, no one and the unsettling feeling that was all too familiar began to seep back in and consume her.

Her eyes shot open and she scanned the dimly lit room for any sign of him, she noticed she was wearing one of his shirts. A flash of last night clouded her mind for a moment as she rested her head back on the pillow.

"_I'm so tired Stefan" tears falling on to his white shirt for what seemed like the millionth time that night. He pressed his face to hers letting his cool breath dry her tears, he reached around her back to unzip her dress, she let it fall slowly down her body, the feeling all too familiar that buzzed her skin and made it stand on end. Suddenly she craved him, needed him, and wanted him so badly more than ever before, god she missed him. _

_She reached for the buttons on his shirt frantically, but just as soon as one button fell open he gently held her hands and placed them back to her side. The feeling of want bursting through her, making her body heave from the lack of oxygen, her skin shivered against his, her legs weak, so vulnerable and naked in front of him already was too much to handle._

"_Stefan" she cried softly as he drew his fingers across her cheek and caught her eyes with a look of sincerity and concern, something that made her instantly realise how much he understood her, even if she didn't understand herself right now, he knew, for her he always knew._

"_Let me take care of you?" the words hovered around her and hugged her, this wasn't a question, it was a plead to let him back in, to let him love her and care for her in every way he knew how. She closed her eyes as the weight pulling down on her shoulders fell and her head tumbled on to his soft chest helplessly._

_He gently removed her clothes, whispering to her how much he loved her, that everything would be ok. Kissing her hair and moving her to the bed, placing one of his shirts he had found in her door over her head. Pulling up her pyjama shorts so tenderly up her legs and leaving a kiss on her knee._

_He wove the duvet around her, his hand still tangled in hers, sitting beside her watching her drift off. "I love you" he whispered._

She looked at the fresh bandage that was wrapped around her hand, and she let out a gasp of desperation as the panic rushed through her. _Why would he leave_? Suddenly that all too familiar pulse of pain hit her again, she cursed her heart for feeling so much, last night all she wanted was him, he was right there and she let him convince her to sleep, when all she needed was him.

_I should have never let him go_ she sighed at the thought, _I should have said to never leave again _as she played the situation she imagined in her head, she would tell him she loves him and that she never stopped, never will, never be able to, can't go on without him.

She threw the covers over, still frantically searching the room before reaching for her bed side lamp. And there he was, the relief washing through her, like soothing a burning wound, the relief that his presence alone brought to her. She threw her head back in content as she realised what he had done. He was lying there, on her window seat with his jacket covering him like a blanket as he slept soundly. She watched him for a long moment trying to compose herself. _He stayed_

Typical_ Stefan_ she thought, never presuming anything, never allowing himself to make her feel in any way unsafe around him. Not even allowing himself the luxury of sleeping beside her. It made her heart ache, she wanted to be that person so much, the person she once was for him.

The one that he came to when he was upset, that told her everything, the one that he felt most comfortable around, the one that was never scared to be himself. It made her heart ache, the thought that she may have lost that part of him was too much of an incomprehensible question, but she had to have hope, she was going to make this right again.

She moved herself off the bed and swayed slowly over to him, watching his peaceful face for a few moments, she couldn't bear to be away from him any longer, even inches felt like miles, and even the kisses last night seemed like an eternity ago. She bent over to stroke his cheeks with the back of her fingers, _he was so beautiful_, how had she let herself forget how he looked when he slept, she wanted to cry right there.

She turned her head to place a soft kiss on his lips, lingering above him and taking him in, he stirred slightly, blinking his eyes to focus on her face. She reached for his hand and pulled him up gently. Without hesitation, Stefan followed, letting his jacket fall to the ground.

He watched her as she slid under the covers and made room for him in the bed, she smiled that smile that made everything ok, it made his heart want to sing, and any doubts that were once an issue were gone in an instant.

He smiled, "Are you sure?" he whispered nervously, she nodded, still in disbelief that he had drifted so far away from her, that he had to ask whether he was allowed to lie next to her in what she considered _their _bed. She held her hand out for his and pulled him next to her gently.

A hurricane of memories and emotions floundered his mind as he fell on her bed, her pillow that she gave and shared with him, her teddy that she cherished and slept with, her scent, her soft breathing during the night. _Why am I here_ he wondered, he never intended on doing this for a long time, it was too much all the once. He had just come back from a 2 month killing binge, and now laying next to this angel, the love of his life, _why? _ _Why do I have this?_

He caught her eyes watching him, his body tensed and he focused on the ceiling, unable to function in this close intimate proximity with her. He wanted her so badly, he wanted all of her and that was so selfish, he wanted to end his life there and then, because he didn't deserve her.

Elena could feel his panic, she reached to stroke his face gently, but still no response from Stefan except his breathing that hitched from her touch. There were no words for this moment, it was always going to be difficult, but this energy was pulling them together. It had anchored them to where they were now and leaving was no longer an option. Leaving now, after everything would be a mistake, now seemed like the only time, the only thing that was important, _them._

Stefan moved his hand under the covers to find her free one, pressing his lips together and closing his eyes. Her skin tingled from the contact she hadn't expected, she felt safe next to him, that body that was still centimetres away was making her heart beat so fast, and suddenly the air was knocked from her lungs. _How can anyone make me feel like _this she tried to figure. When she met his eyes, those green dusty pools stared at her and begged to be loved, as much as the person behind them loved her more than anything in the world.

She wondered how anything could replicate this feeling with Stefan, she remembered when sitting next to Damon, as he comforted her when Stefan left, when he reached to hold her hand, when he moved to stroke her cheek, those feelings once all a blurry question that couldn't be answered, was now a complete and utter certainty, Stefan was the one.

The memories of Stefan that she had buried deep inside her, that she had locked up, she had dismissed during her mission to revive him, her heart had hid them away for her own sanity, and now, it was creeping back in. Because this feeling with Stefan was probably something that could only be found once in a lifetime if one should be so lucky to even find it, something so precious that needed to be kept safe.

Suddenly she hated herself more than she ever thought possible. He was the _one_, and forgetting that would be the biggest mistake of her life, ruining what they had would be the biggest regret she would ever have to live with.

She let a tear fall down her cheek, Stefan quickly turned to his side to wipe the wandering tear from her face. She smiled as she brought his hand to her lips and kissed each of his fingers. Stefan closed his eyes, letting out a small unsteady breath; she moved to his chest leaving small kisses on the material of his white shirt and moved to leave burning kisses to his neck while unbuttoning his shirt. Stefan stroked her hair and tried to remember the reasons why she shouldn't be doing this, why he should let her do this.

It had been so long since he felt her sweet skin against his, so long since her breath lingered on him, since her beautiful lips made his existence worth while, so long since they had done this, _there, now._ It had been _too _long, his emotions bursting through, his body tensed when she succeeded in unbuttoning his shirt, still pinned to the bed motionless and petrified of how long it had been since he felt her touch. She stared for a few moments tracing her finger tips down his stomach and kissing near his naval.

Stefan let out a sharp gasp, it was too much now, the blood was seeping into his eyes, and he couldn't let her see it. _I've changed, you have to show her you've changed_, he covered his face with his hands, and Elena could see it all, how he was struggling to breathe, how his skin was shivering, she knew this part of him and she knew it would be harder now more than ever to control himself in this situation. He had still so much to struggle with and he had been doing it mostly alone.

"Shhh" she moved his hands from his face, and saw the tears well up in his eyes, "It's okay Stefan...its ok"

She moved herself on top of him, placing a leg on either side of his body and met his eyes.

"Elena...it's different now...I'm...different" he could only look anywhere else but to her eyes, she nodded, gently stroking his chest and staring at his face placing kisses on the veins that protruded .

"I know...were both different now Stefan" tracing the veins under his eyes. Remembering the first time they made love, how her touch instantly made it all fade away. It didn't scare her; she wanted to love every part of him. And now, with what seemed like the worst was over, losing him, losing them, she knew nothing he could ever do would ever make her hate him.

"I love you" he whispered, finally meeting her eyes, as the veins seeped away revealing his beautiful olive eyes that seemed to be brighter than they ever had been before, full of hope and want.

"Touch me Stefan" she whispered desperately, and he did, raising his hands under her shirt and sitting up to reach for her neck. He lifted her shirt, remembering every inch of her, kissing every part exposed as she panted heavily, a prisoner of his touch. When he finally met her lips, she fell on her back and he hovered over her, like he always did when they made love, he stared at her in complete awe and adoration for the woman he was next to. She had missed him, she had missed this.

Everything after was a familiar blur, his hands slid up her thighs; she grabbed the sheets with her hands as he moved down her body. The rest of his clothes falling off quickly, as she moaned when he found that spot on her neck that she loved. He remembered it all, and it didn't even matter if he didn't, because she was certain that he was made to love her that way never the less.

It was slow and intense, and the only difference now was, they weren't expecting aunt Jenna home, they weren't worrying about Klaus, Katherine, Damon, Jeremy. It was just them, them and their world as they hugged each other afterwards, tracing lines on skin, whispering sweet nothings, intertwining until they melted into one another, like they were made to do only one thing. And this time, it was forver.

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**Be honest? Can this even be continued? I feel like some more Damon issues need to be cleared up, please let us have the Stelena ending were all hoping for!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the late update, I have been doing my final exams. **

**Let me know what you think of this, I'm not sure if im happy with it, I may just click complete on it and continue my other fan fics.**

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Elena swooped down the stairs, she noticed a kick in her step as she let her hand slide down the wooden banisters. A smile etched on her face, she bit down on her lip to try and make it fade, but it would not evade. Last night was...amazing to say the least, and for the first time in a long time she believed that she could get her old life back.

She wasn't thinking about the life with her parents when they were alive, she wasn't thinking about the simplicity of being a teenage cheerleader, the queen bee of the high school elite. Those times when her only worry in life was what accessories to buy for the next dance, or how to sneak off to the grill when she was grounded. And although she didn't realise it then she remembered that feeling even before the tragedy, that there was something that was missing even then, that even though she had everything a 17 year old girl could ask for, she was still searching for something, something more in life, something that would uproot her, make her life exotic and rich with excitement, something like what she found in Stefan.

She did miss her parents though, she did miss not having to be around all this supernatural madness, she missed having her mom to talk to and her father to laugh with. But at the same time she knew that when her and Stefan had met, everything seemed to fall right into place, when she saw in his eyes that he would never stop loving her, that he would understand her without even having to ask, that she made _his_ life better, she knew _him_ straight away, she was made to love _him,_ he made her heart jump when he was close and made her relax when he was touching. He eased her pain with the simplest of words, and made her life full by simply living himself. And for that reason alone, she had decided that life was worth living just to be with him.

Elena flew freely around the kitchen, pulling out the coffee maker and turning up the volume on the radio. She knew he would be back soon, and that made her stomach flip from the feeling, and how she would try to keep her hands off him and try to justify doing so after the many times they had fornicated this morning. She stopped pouring the coffee beans into the machine as her mind raced at what had happened in her room, spilling some of it on the counter and laughing at her clumsiness, what had come over her? She had not felt like this in so long, and it felt...good.

The doorbell rang and Elena turned on her heel to answer it. She swung the door open expecting someone entirely different.

"well that was quick..." her eyes met Damon's who was helping Bonnie stand on the porch.

"Bonnie?" Elena gasped and grabbed for her to come in "What happened?"

Damon helped her in and placed her on the couch ensuring the bandage was securely held on her neck.

"Alaric...he...he transitioned Elena" he said angrily pacing the living room. Elena sat next to Bonnie, who seemed to still be in shock from the ordeal, she was shaking and her eyes seemed fixed into the distance, she didn't seem to be there at all.

"WHAT?" Elena burst out, "But...but how?"

"Witchy here gave me an aneurism and decided to sacrifice herself to Alaric the new and improved Vampire Slayer" Damon shouted, still pacing and clenching his fists in frustration. Bonnie snapped out of her daze and turned to Damon standing and grinding her teeth.

"I had no idea what was happening, the witches lead me there, they wanted him to feed so he would turn"

"Oh my god bonnie" Elena wrapped her arms around her "Im so sorry" Bonnie broke down into tears and fell to her knee's.

A heavy sense of realisation hit Elena, "Where's the stake now?" she turned to Damon

"WE DONT KNOW" Damon said with a frustrated expression "Obviously I'm an idiot, obviously I do STUPID things like let my friend die with dignity when I should have just killed him"

Damon spun around on his heel and hit the wall with his fist leaving a small mark.

"Damon" Elena shouted pleadingly. And he caught her distraught eyes for a second realizing he was loosing it and flew up the stairs in vampire speed.

Elena let out a heavy breath and joined Bonnie on the floor.

"This is bad" bonnie said calmly, Elena nodded and let out a sigh, reaching up to remove the heavy bandage from her neck. "are you sure your ok?" Elena asked gently, examining the deep marks on her neck. "I'll be fine, once we get rid of him Elena" she leaned back on the couch.

"I have to go talk to him, I'll be right back" Elena said, bonnie forced a smile and watched Elena as she walked up the stairs.

Elena opened her bedroom door slowly and found Damon leaning on the wall beside her window seat, watching the street outside her window.

"Hey" she said gently walking beside him. He didn't acknowledge her, he stood still and stared fixated on an oak tree outside.

"I'm sorry about Alaric Damon, I know you cared about him" she tried to look at him, to see if she could tell what he was feeling from his eyes, or his expression, anything. If there was anything more frustrating in the world, it was Damon and sometimes it gave her a thrill to try to figure this complex being.

"Damon, its ok, were going to figure this out, there has to be a way" Damon stood and met her eyes.

"Elena, why don't you love me?" The statement seemed to come out of nowhere and shocked her, but she soon realised that Stefan's jacket and pants were sitting on the floor along with her own items of clothing, a black laced bra strewn next to the bedside lamp, looking suspiciously at them from across the room.

"I know you do Elena, when we kissed, it was...everything, and I love you" he turned to step closer to her, searching her eyes for any sign of weakness in them against his.

"Elena, let me in please" he begged, moving to grab her hands roughly moving them up to his heart, his eyes desperate and needy. Elena's mouth fell open, completely caught off guard by this sudden confession and accusation from Damon; usually it took a very serious event for him to come on so strongly. The times before, Katherine had broken his heart or when he was on his death bed from a deadly werewolf bite and when he thought Stefan had just betrayed them to save Klaus, but now, it was as though he realised he needed to act quickly before he lost her.

"Damon" she tried desperately to step back but he was so close to her now, and she did care about him , she did, she hated herself for all these feelings that she had snowballed him into, for everything that had happened to make herself think she could ever consider being with him. His eyes were infectious, she knew she felt something for him, and if she had never met Stefan, she was sure that she would have fallen for him. Although it would not match how madly, deeply and truly her feelings for Stefan were rooted deep inside her, she was sure she would have met him anyway; her mind wouldn't allow her to imagine her life without Stefan in it.

His lips were grazing hers so quickly, she forgot for a second she should be pushing him away, as she tried to speak, breaking only when she said his name again, "Damon! No!" she pressed against his chest; trying to push him away but realising her strength had no match against his inhuman body. And her stomach flipped, it was so dangerous to let him in so close, he would not retaliate from the embrace if she let it happen for much longer. She turned her head in pure dismissal and refusal of his advances towards her.

"I know Stefan was here last night Elena" his eyes watered, as if he thought this was the last chance to convince her that he loved her and needed her.

"But I don't care, I don't because I love you and I know you love me too" it broke her heart to see Damon this way, because she knew he deserved to be loved, and she hated that she couldn't give that to him, because her heart belonged to his brother. And a part of her heart belonged to Damon too, but only the morsel that was intertwined between him and Stefan, Stefan's connection to his brother and their eternal bond was as far as her love would be for Damon. And she knew that Damon alone would not be enough to fulfil her. She was ashamed at this realisation, because she knew that if anyone else were to break down those walls around Damon that he had set so high, that there would be no retreat from his love, that he would be eternally devoted to them and love them more than anyone else could be loved.

"Damon I care for you I do", his body moved close in relief from those words. "But I love _him_ Damon, I love Stefan, I...I can't lie to myself any longer" she cried, tears falling down her face realizing that from now on Damon was going to be gone from her life.

"Why?" he whispered, locking his eyes with hers and reaching for her lips once again.

"Because Damon" she slapped his hand away frustrated now that she was wedged so closely against the wall, a tang of bitterness overcame her as she realised how forceful Damon could be "I know if I had met you instead of Stefan, you would have made me do things against my will, taken advantage of my naivety, I know you have changed now Damon and I do care for you, because of the man you are now. But I still feel, I feel everything! You killed JEREMY, you USED Caroline, you tried to kill Bonnie, Damon, I can't and it's not just that, it's the fact that you knew that Stefan saved me, not just at the bridge but he saved me from myself in a time when I didn't know how to live when I was lost, and you still thought you could steal me from him, who do you think I am Damon?"

Damon looked in her eyes in realisation, he was spent, he had put all his money on a card game with 4 aces, only to be beaten by a royal flush, Stefan had beaten him on two separate occasions in his long lifetime, and he had nothing left but to live with what he had done.

She searched his eyes for any response, but he looked broken, he ran his fingers through her hair delicately and placed a kiss on her forehead desperately trying to console himself with her presence, her ever forgiving presence, the angel that had thought him to feel, the woman who could see through him, it made the burn of her skin even more bitter against his lips. Elena leaned into his embrace for a moment savouring the possible last intimate moment he would ever let her see again,

"Elena, you don't know it yet, but we belong together" Elena looked in to his eyes in disbelief. Her eyes furrowed and her face hard, what made him so sure that they belonged together, after everything she had just said, but in a way it soothed the pain for her. Knowing that he was not giving up on her, even if it was for the wrong reasons, would it be so bad to have Damon in her life as her close friend while she and Stefan continued as they were. But yet, it was a selfish pipe dream, she could not imagine a world where she did that after all that happened between her and Damon during the summer. It was something she wouldn't do.

"No Damon, I belong with Stefan" he stepped back to give her one last glance, his nod expressionless "okay" and stepped briskly out of her room. Elena slid down her wall holding her aching stomach and letting a tear fall down her face. How had it all come to this? She didn't want to lose him, she felt the harshness of her words reverberate back through her mind, and for a few seconds regretted throwing all of those facts and memories back into Damon's face, because something deep inside of her still wanted to fix him, she still enjoyed his company and the way it consumed her. But one thing was for sure, she could not live without Stefan and when it came to him, she would choose the same every time. Because now it was forever, one way or another.

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**Please leave your reviews, I have another multi chapter possibly coming, because Im currently having writers block with 'Coming Home'...help! haha**

**Im working on a future fiction where elena (as a vampire) has overcome her blood lust and is trying to get Stefan back, still not sure if its a good idea...?**

**Loved writing this story and loved reading the comments, thanks x**


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